Daniel’s Story of Hope
Written By: Daniel
Last night was a good night. I felt well enough after work to clear the snow from our neighbor’s driveway as well as our own. It took a long time and was heavy, wet snow (got to love New England) but I didn’t even have my usual wiped out feeling after. My son watched me with the “tractor” (snow blower) out the window and I gave him snowballs to eat, his favorite. When I was done I came inside, wrestled with my son in the living room, ate dinner with the family and watched a movie with my wife before bed. Unfortunately because I was feeling so good and having fun, I made some bad food choices.
Today was not a good day for my Gastroparesis. I woke up in the middle of the night with the usual nausea and beyond full stomach. I woke up this morning and knew it would not be a good day. I was wiped out, my nausea was terrible and I just wanted to go back to bed. But I got ready and went to work. Things only got worse from there as my nausea increased. At one point this morning I did not think I could make it through a meeting for fear of vomiting. But I pressed on.
I kept telling myself to just make it a few more minutes, to just focus on a specific task, to just calm down and keep going a little more. It reminded me of when I used to run. When I would get so tired I would say to myself, “just make it to that next tree,” then, “just make it to that next pole.” It’s a constant struggle, almost like a game, albeit a terrible one!
My wife and son came to visit for a minute and that made me feel a little better, emotionally if not physically. I was discouraged for sure. A great night turned into a bad day and I am tired of that. But I also felt better by trying to remember to pray when I was discouraged so that my illness would not ruin my relationships or my testimony or my joy in life. It is so easy to be consumed with being sick or with discouragement. That is a daily and ever present struggle for those of us with a chronic illness. A good night can turn into a bad day tomorrow. For some of us, we know how a good hour can lead to 10 bad hours, we never know what to expect.
My encouragement is to keep going for just one more hour, just one more task. Use those you love for support and encouragement. Above all, continue to pray that you would not be consumed with your illness. Do not let it rob you of your joy and keep pressing on!